On the SNCF lean

So, I have been thinking about this for a really long time. There has been nothing on this trip that has irked me more than what I have so lovingly named "the SNCF lean." For those who haven't had the pleasure of travelling by train throughout France, a really fun and relaxing way to travel, you may not know that SNCF is France's train company. I've actually had good experiences with the trains so far (excepting that one time that the train just didn't stop), but the absolute worst part is waiting in line for sometimes up to hour just to get a ticket. They have installed electronic machines to alleviate this wait, but unfortunately American credit cards don't have the chip you need to use them. Grrrr...

So while waiting in line to buy tickets, which is usually every day or two, the absolute most frustrating thing is the "SNCF lean". here is the situation. joe shmoe, or we'll call him jacques shmacques, goes up to the window. first of all, it is important to know that there are usually about 10 guichets (or ticket windows). without fail, only 4 are open at any time. workers can put on the "guichet ferme" sign whenever the hell they want. it is so weird. so anyway, jacques wants a ticket to Australia. simple thing. goes up to the window, and about 10 people are in line behind him. suddenly, it seems like he is going to be there for awhile. the girl at the window wearing too much make up and the hideous SNCF purple button down shirt is starting to look confused. she stares at her computer. does that french sigh thing that sort of resembles spitting (anyone know what i'm talking about?). she clarifies jacques' request. looks at the computer. another SNCF worker, who is sitting in a chair doing nothing (seriously, there are always at least two of these people sitting about 5 feet behind the ticket window, doing nothing at all.) notices that her colleague is looking confused. she comes over and worker one starts explaining the situation, slowly, and with more spitting/sighing.

two things can happen now. if the gods are smiling, the rescue worker can easily solve the problem. often, the gods are angry.

the second SNCF worker will lean over the computer screen, and start to look at it closely. they will start moving their head back and forth as if their eyes don't have the ability to move left and right. sometimes they will take the mouse from the original workers hand and start clicking. all of these things are done with the back at about a 75 degree angle to the legs. spitting/sighing noises are now made by both while the customer just stands there, not actually pissed off because at least he isn't waiting in line anymore.

unfortunately, this rarely helps. most of the time, the leaner will improve posture and walk away. those waiting in line might falsely take this as a sign that Jacques is almost done buying his impossible train ticket to Australia. but no. leaner 1 returns with a more senior member of the team. either an older man, or a woman in her 40s whose make up is much better than the original girl. as original girl sits there, leaner one will resume leaning position, and senior member will now also lean over the two others, at more of a 60 degree angle. the three workers will now chat, sigh/spit, ask clarifying questions to jacques, who still just simply wants his train ticket to Australia. Jacques may ask a question, and all three will chime in together, speaking over eachother.

Eventually, he will give up and go to the airport. The first person in line with start to make his way over to the now empty guichet, only to find that it is now ferme.


To people who have never waited in an SNCF line, you probably think I've lost it. But seriously, if you ever find yourself in a train station in France (I recommend the one in Metz btw...it is absolutely amazing. you could live in it, it has so many modern stores, and there is wifi. also the line you wait in is really high tech, with these funky chairs you can sit in while you wait forever), you might think back to this post and know exactly what I mean.






unrelatedly, i am currently in Lille, which has been my least favorite town yet, actually. I leave tomorrow morning for beachy Calais. Yay beach towns in 60 degree weather in july. But Lille. There is just absolutely no reason to come here. There is nothing here that you can't find in Paris, and obviously you can also find much more in Paris. While chatting with my editor, i likened it to the relationship between Boston and New York. New York=Paris, Boston=Lille. Sure boston has some "cultural character," as does Lille, but it is just generally further north, colder, smaller and less exciting, with a sub par public transit system. (It was on the metro here that I actually talked my way out of a 25 euro fine. yay/sort of. it was one of those situation where it is seriously the ONE TIME you forget and then get caught. i forgot to validate my ticket (i really did) and it was the only time the entire trip when the transit officers stopped me to check. to my prague buddies, it was like that, and i actually thought he was trying to sell me something at first too. so immediately dropped into poor innocent American tourist who is totally ignorant of this validation system but happens to speak good French. this worked, and i talked my way out of the fee. it was a minor annoyance, and i'm happy i didn't have to pay.

but lille. ugh. to demonstrate why people shouldn't come here, here is an anecdote to show that Americans don't come here. I was in a restaurant tonight and I was chatting with the waiter (sort of cute, sorry J). eventually he asked (as they all do because my accent sucks), where are you from? (this question is actually much preferable to people just speaking to me in English). I was like les etats-unis, and he was shocked. he was like, "vraiment? (this is in french, but i'll continue in English). Wow. that is so strange. we have tourists from Belgium and sometimes England here, but never anybody from the U.S. Quite a trip, eh?. So apparently people know not to come here. it really isn't a bad place, but there is just nothing here you can't get in Paris.

except, apparently, cheap appartments, which is why lots of students come here to study. (i was chatting with some people in my hostel looking for appartments).

this has been a long post, but i have been typing on an off while i watch the tour de france on the hostel TV.

also, harry potter in French was awesome. I realized there really is very little dialogue in the movie. it was much easier for me to understand than this movie i saw about a month ago called "conversations avec mon jardinier" which granted, as i should have known from the title, is just a long conversation between a man and his gardener. also, Hogwarts is called Poudlard in French, which is really badass/hilarious.



Ah, so something good about Lille. They had two really cool museums, one of which is in an old municipal pool and now has really funky modern art and statues. it was going that there i nearly had to part with 25 euro.


this has been random, and if you made it this far i commend you. woah, some guy just changed the channel on the TV to some really weird arabic music video.

one more week of Let's Go, and then I go to Berlin. Fun!